Do you ever feel like you are at a huge crossroads and wish that you could see the future to know that it is going to turn out ok? I know that is not possible...and actually am happy that we can't see the future. However, sometimes it seems like it would make things so much easier!
Right now this is where I feel like my life/mental state is.
Keira will be turning two in a week, and I am sad/happy all at the same time. It seems like just yesterday she was born, yet so much has changed in that time! I have had alot of friends as of late who have gotten pregnant/had babies, and it really makes me wish that I was going through that stage again. However, at the same time I do not think that I am ready to move onto the "second child" stage yet...as I just LOVE having our little family of three. I almost wish I could just go back and relive the past two years over...as they have been absolutely wonderful! (Not sure what my deal is tonight...I am very reminiscent, which is not normally me, but writing always seems to be good for that!)
There are many other changes going on right now as well. I am in the process of transitioning to a new position in my company where I will be working at the office 3 days a week instead of 5. This is something that I have wanted, begged God for, and yearned for since the day that Keira was born. However, oddly enough rather than be exuberant for this, I am SCARED. I am scared to move out of the position that I know well, to a position that I am less familiar with. I am nervous about failing, or hating what I am doing, or losing my status in the company, and having to start my career over. However, at the same time I feel that this is a door that GOD opened wide for me, and I need to take advantage of it, and spend more time with Keira while she is still little! All of these changes have been great in the fact that they are teaching me to 1) not worry 2) trust God, as HE is in control and has obviously given me this opportunity. I AM very excited about being able to spend more time with Keira/ and ministering to others by being in the office less.
Some other exciting things that are going on right now: I have just started doing a bi-weekly Bible Study with a close friend of mine. I have always wanted to have an accountability partner for devotions, but have never actually had one. I am so excited to be able to build into her life, share my struggles and joys with her, and grow closer to God through this!
I have also been very encouraged by some other women in our church who are pursuing business ventures. For awhile I was very discouraged in our church as I felt like I was one of the few women pursuing a career as well as a family. I felt like there was no one who I could share my situation with, without being judged for being a working mom in the business world. However, whenever we thought about going somewhere else God made it very evident that he wanted us where we were...by giving us opportunities to serve in the church, or reach out to new attendees, etc. It is wonderful to see how God is blessing! We are thoroughly enjoying serving in the roles that we are able to, such as AWANA, nursery, and fellowships, and it is great to have some like-minded friends who I things in common with as well! In my mind Christian friends who I am able to go through life with make life 100% better, and I am so thankful that God has placed people in my life to encourage me, and be there through all of the curves life throws at us!
I didn't post much about Keira this time...she is a book in and of herself lately. I will try and post soon about all that is going on with her. :)
Thanks friends for reading!
